Baby's door out

(Karthik Narayan)

This was really fascinating - the picture on your screen is supposed to be a doorway at the Taramani Railway Station in Chennai. The door measures roughly 2 feet high by 1 feet wide, big enough to fit a baby through.

Now I am not sure whether this was intended as the Doorway to Heaven - as this is situated in the 2nd Floor!

Judge for yourselves what could be the possible use of this door:

Act III of the play

ACT III Scene 1

Enter Rama and Laxmana

Laxmana: What is this here? Oh, a cell!

Mareecha springs from behind them.

Mareecha: Hey what the hell? This is mine, man!

Rama: All right, where were you all this time… and wait a minute! Lax, I thought I told you to be with Sita.

Laxmana: Yeah, but your stubborn wife was adamant that I also go with you.

Rama (turns to Mareecha): Anyways, listen yaaaar – why did you do this? Aren’t you ashamed to leave your fantastic mobile and go?

Mareecha: Sorry, Ravana wanted me to do this, and I did it all for the sake of a world cup final ticket… listen, I know I have done you wrong. If you want I will give you this cell and the ticket… just let me go.

Rama: All right, take your cell. And don’t try this with me again… now, Lax, lets rush back to Sita, I have a feeling she is in trouble. With her un-stoppable mouth all-alone is very dangerous for this forest!

Exit Mareecha - stage fright!

Act III - Scene II

Back at the hut

Rama: Sita? Sita? Where are you?

Rama (looking frantic and worried): Where is she? She is not in the hut either. I told you something was wrong.

Laxmana: Yes, now let’s not waste time talking here. Let us search for her.

Rama: Let’s split up. You go that way. I’ll go this way.

Laxmana: Roger that, bro!

Rama and Laxmana exit stage in different directions, and re-enter

Rama: It’s hopeless. She could be anywhere. What do I do now? I am lost. I lost my laptop; I lost my dear father and mother, and now my wife as well.

Laxmana: Hey don’t fret, dude. Look at the bright side of it. She was a pesky brat.

Rama (for a minute, thinks like the proverbial husband, happy to be rid of his nagging wife): But still…

Laxmana: What is that? A cry in the wilderness for help!

Rama: Hey, listen to that. Someone is in trouble. Maybe he/ she knows where Sita might be.

Laxmana: Maybe he or she is in danger because of your wife..!!!

Rama and Laxmana run quickly across the stage and find an old eagle languishing in pain.

Rama: Who are you? What happened to you?

Laxmana: I think this is some demon that is trying to trick us. Maybe he kidnapped Sita and is acting like this…

Rama: Patience, bro. Please tell us who you are.

Jatayu: My name is Jatayu. I have been flying over these forests for quite a while. I was so thirsty, so I decided to sit and drink my Coca Cola here by the corner of the road.

Laxmana: Okie.

Jatayu: Yes, and there was this beautiful Lancer. I wanted to take a ride in it. It’s been ages since I saw a Lancer in these woods. But a guy was there inside. And he had a good-looking girl also! I don’t know if he was practicing for Formula One, or trying to impress the girl. But he was racing along at 150 Kph!

Rama: Oh no. That must have been Sita. I bet she would have enjoyed that ride with me…

Laxmana: Wait, was the girl wailing like a baby? And was she complaining about Nokia cell phones?

Jatayu: Yeah, I think so!

Laxmana (with a laugh): Yeah bro, it was Sita.

Jatayu: Hmm. Ok. Anyway, coming back to me, I was helpless. ‘Piyo sar uttake’ (Raise your head to drink) is how this Cola should be drunk. I was raising my head and drinking it, so I didn’t see the Lancer drive. It hit me right in the middle of the road!

Laxmana: You should use your head, but not that way!
Jatayu: Yeah, maybe Pepsi hai right choice, baby.

Laxmana: Yeah, and perfect choice for pesticides!

Jatayu: Yes, you humans don’t worry about me. Let me die in peace. I am an asthma patient anyway. All you sick people from the city pollute the entire world, makes it so hard to breathe. And besides, man is destroying nature. It’s better to die now rather than suffer on Mother Earth!

Rama: Oh man…

Jatayu breathes his last.

Rama and Laxmana put him to sleep beside the rocks and move across stage, peering at the car tracks.

Exit Rama and Laxmana.

ACT III Scene 3

A clearing near a beach.

A bunch of monkeys and their leader, Sugriva watches as Rama and Laxmana wander like nomads.

Sugriva: Oh Hanuman

Hanuman: Yes, my Lord?

Sugriva: Do you see those two men? Find out who they were and what they want.

Hanuman: Your wish is my command, O’ Lord.

Sugriva: Maybe they were sent by my brother Vaali to kill me.

Hanuman: Ok, I'll find out.

Hanuman approaches them in the guise of a Brahmin-human.

Rama: Hail there, o' Brahmin. I am Rama and this is my brother Laxmana. My wife Sita was kidnapped by some crazy car driver. We are searching for her.

Hanuman: Allow me to introduce myself. I am Hanuman, faithful follower of my leader Sugriva. He is waiting to see you. Perhaps we could help you in your quest.

The brothers follow Hanuman
Sugriva welcomes them with fruits and flowers.

Sugriva: Welcome to my kingdom, young masters. Actually I thought you were my brother's henchmen. You see, me and my brother are fighting for the kingdom. Now I am banished to the edge of the forest. He rules my kingdom. I want it back.

Rama: Ok, what is your problem? Why don't you defeat him in battle?

Sugriva: Actually he is very strong, and I am not confident of myself. Only if I kill him I can become king. So will you kill him for me? In turn, I will find your wife and get her back for you. Deal ya no deal?

Rama: Deal. Go invite your brother for battle. I shall hide behind a tree and at the appropriate moment, kill him.

Act III Scene IV

Enter Vanaras on stage. Two monkeys are seen fighting, while Rama and Laxmana are hiding behind foliage of thick bushes, watching everything.

Vanara 1: Say, don’t monkeys look alike? How did a human like Rama manage to distinguish between them? Even I am not able to find out who is who

Vanara 2: (chuckles) he couldn’t, silly. So he chose not to shoot. Luckily for Sugriva, Vali had an interview for his ministry, so he left half way.

Enter Sugriva to meet Rama and his brother. He is seen limping and clutching his back.

Sugriva: GRRR… what do you think you are doing? Trying to get me killed? Oh, my aching back. Do you realize my bro beat me up…?

Rama: Arre, you monkeys all look the same to me. I can't know who I shoot. So next time, invite him again, but this time wear some identification mark, so I will know you.

Sugriva: GRRR. You better not miss this time, coz my brother will murder me!

Rama: Wear this. It is a Live Strong Wrist Band so I can distinguish you.

Enter Sugriva and Vaali – this time it is a fight to the finish.

Vaali: Did you get hit on the head, bro? You split your mind kya? This time I will not spare you…

Laxmana and Rama are seen at their hiding spot.

Laxmana: Free WWF! Wow, pass the popcorn?

Rama: Shush. Well, I hope the wrist band does not pop out of that Sugriva guy's hand. Else he gets his hide done today!

Rama shoots and kills Vaali. Just before he dies, Vaali gives a lengthy Press Conference Post Match interview that he never lost the fight and was only cheated and stripped off his title.

Sugriva gets back his kingdom and becomes king.

Celebrations of the coronation ceremony take place as the curtains come down.

Act III Scene V

Enter Sugriva wearing crown, accompanied by Rama and Laxmana

Sugriva: Well, Thanks a ton Rama. Now it is time to repay your chilling killing. My men will browse the forest and find out where your Sita might be taken. A google search ought to do the trick.

Hanuman: I have searched the vicinity. I think Sita has been taken over the Ocean to Sri Lanka. I think I can be the only person who can go. So allow me to go please.

Rama: All right, Hanuman. You are the right man, I mean monkey, for this job! Ok if you find Sita, she won't trust you. So do one thing. Take my Mobile, and when you see her, play this Popeye ringtone. She will identify that it is mine and will know I have sent you.

Laxmana: Yeah, nobody else would ever have that for a tone!

Hanuman: Ok, I shall do as you say.

Act III Scene VI

Enter Vanaras

Vanara 1: Wasn’t Hanuman a monkey like us? So how did he get across to the other side of a mighty ocean?

Vanara 2: Of course, he was. But he wasn’t just an ordinary monkey. He had the power, he had the divine spark – and best of all, he got a free Fly-to-anywhere pass from Lanka Airlines. So he flew to Lanka.

Vanara 1: Have you been on planes before? I have heard they are using planes to demolish big buildings – saves a lot of energy and power, it seems.

Vanara 2: A plane journey is never uneventful. Midway a terrorist did try to high-jack the plane.

Vanara 1: Oh, what happened?

Vanara 2: Well, he took it to higher altitudes (high-jack, get it?)

Vanara 1: Ha ha! That was a smart one. But why?

Vanara 2: He got frustrated with the slow plane speeds, so thought he could drive faster. Anyway Hanuman managed to reach Lanka in one piece.

Vanara 1: Of all people, how did Sita recognize Hanuman?

Vanara 2: They thought of it, did Rama and Hanuman. Hanuman carefully sat on the tree under which Sita was sitting and played the POPEYE tone. Sita’s eyes lit up and she searched for the person who played the Tone as it was Rama’s favorite ringtone.

The Popeye ringtone is heard all over the stage.

Hanuman set the mobile at her feet, waiting for her to pick it up and stop what seemed to be a never ending Popeye ringtone.

Sita looked at Hanuman and graced him by stopping the ringtone for a minute.

Sita: Now I will reset this ringtone to ‘Here I am’ by Bryan Adams. That will make Rama know that I have heard his goofy ringtone. Remember, Rama has to come and kill Ravana in order to win me back.

Hanuman gently picks up the mobile and bids good bye to Sita.

Vanara 1: Hey, what happened after that? Did Hanuman seek revenge on Ravana?

Vanara 2: Yes he did. And how! He programmed all TV Channels to show Soaps 24 hrs all over Sri Lanka. The people of Lanka were so annoyed and disgusted. Ravana and Indrajit, his son, promptly got him an all expenses paid trip back to Chennai airport, which included great Chinese food!

Vanara 1: (Laughs) Hahaha! That was very clever of Hanuman. And the food must have been a well deserved reward too! Doesn’t this prove that monkeys are the cleverest of all beings?

End of Act III
X X X

Act II - of the play (get your popcorn)

Act II – Scene I
A scene in the forest. Rama and Laxmana are wandering onstage. The two Vanaras are in the foreground.

Vanara 1: The poor brothers, left to wander so in the forest. How did Rama manage without his watch?

Vanara 2: Time is a valuable thing, but it ticks fast. Even without Rado watches. Days became months, months into seasons. And seasons trickled past into years.

Vanara 1: So how did they spend their days?

Vanara 2: Well, there were visitors.

Vanara 1: Oh?

Vanara 2: Yes. One fine day, Shurpanaka came to the forest.

Vanara 1: Who is Shurpanaka?

Vanara 2: She was the sister of Ravana, the king of Lanka. Her real name was Meenakshi, but ever since she went on to win the Longest Nails in the world contest in the Guinness Book of World Records, she has been known as Shurpanaka.

Exit Vanaras.

Enter Shurpanaka: Oh who is that good looking dude?

Approaches Rama

Shurpanaka: Hey there, handsome dude, how would you like to give me a missed call so that we can sms each other endlessly?

Rama: Sorry, I already have someone with whom I am smsing day in and day out, even though she sits right next to me!

Shurpanaka: Aw, what fun is that? Anyway, what about your brother?

Rama: Ask him… I don't interfere in his private space!

Shurpanaka approaches Laxmana: Will you give me a missed call?

Laxmana: Nah, I am not interested now. Maybe some other time. Besides, I transferred all my balance to my wife, Urmila.

Shurpanaka: How dare you mock me, princess of Lanka that I am….!

Laxmana: Hello, I plain told you, I am not interested. Now don't bug me.

Shurpanaka: Who is bugging who? Don't act so snobby, ok?

Laxmana: (annoyed) Listen, get lost.

Shurpanaka: What? You ask me to get lost? You get lost! On second thoughts, I think you already are! (She giggles)

Laxmana gets very angry, plucks the mobile out of Shurpanaka's hands and takes out the SIM card and breaks it.

Laxmana: There, no SIM, no missed calls!

Shurpanaka: Oh my god! You broke my SIM card. Wait till my brother hears of this!

Exit Shurpanaka screaming.

Act II - Scene II

Scene opens in Ravana's court.

Enter Shurpanaka, crying straight to her brother, Ravana. She explains everything to him.

Ravana: How dare they? Don’t worry, I will get a new SIM and also teach those brats a lesson.

Act II – Scene III

Ravana whizzes by in his Mercedes

Vanara 1: What is Ravana doing there?

Vanara 2: Oh, that? He is test riding his new Mercedes. And see the advanced amplifier microphone? He can overhear Sita complaining about the lack of TV and bad signals to Rama.

Exit Vanaras.

Ravana: (looking at Sita): Wow! I have to get rid of both Rama and Laxmana to wife-nap Sita… Let me make an express call to uncle Mareecha.

Ravana: Hello, is that you, uncle?

Mareecha: Yes, hi Ravana, how are you, my dearest nephew?

Ravana: Yeah, all is well uncle. I just loaded my mobile with this new Airtel scheme, so thought I would give it a try calling my most lovable Uncle.

Mareecha: There, there. Flattery won’t get you anything out of me. Speak out: what do you have in mind?

Ravana: That is my uncle. So smart. Ok listen, now I need a little help from you. I saw a very pretty woman and I want to distract her bodyguards so that I may take her to my palace.

Mareecha: Isn't it wrong to take another's wife? No, I won’t allow you to go through with this…

Ravana: Listen, I will get you tickets to that World Cup Cricket final match at Lord's and an all expenses paid trip to and back. Besides, those guys have ragged my sister and even broken her SIM Card!

Mareecha: It is against my policy to do such acts – but you talked me into this… what am I supposed to do now?

Ravana: Nothing, really. See that cottage over there? (Points at the hut) Just leave your Nokia N-Gage mobile in the woods at a spot where Sita can see it. And leave that special charger with it. Make sure there is signal in that connection, and give a free post-paid connection. Sita will fall for it, by golly!

Curtains, with Ravana and Mareecha laughing

Act II – Scene IV

In the forest Sita hears the phone ring in the silence of the wood, while Maricha stands slightly offstage, holding his cell.

Sita: Rama, o Rama, did you hear that?

Rama: What? I didn't hear anything…

Sita: That sound, it is the clearest ringtone I have heard, must be from a Nokia phone. And by the sounds of it, it is an mp3 tone… I want it, please. Will you get it for me?

Laxmana: A mobile in the forest? Sounds suspicious…

Rama: No, Lax. Must have been left by those crazy campers from the city…

Laxmana: All right, since Sita wants you to go, you go, and I’ll guard her.

Rama: Ok, shall look for the Nokia. brb (be right back)

Exit Rama.

Sita walks up and down, Laxmana leans against a wall

Sita: Hey Lucky (one of Laxmana’s many nicknames), it is some time since Rama left, and the phone is still ringing. Looks like Rama isn't able to find that cell. Why don't you go help him?

Laxmana: No, I am here to protect you. And Rama is all right. He isn't a baby.

Sita: No, I am worried that Rama and that mobile phone might be in trouble… please for my sake go… GO!

Laxmana: Ok, but before I go, I shall draw this.

Laxmana draws a line across the stage his Laxman Rekha.

Laxmana: There this Rekha save you from cockroaches and ants…

Sita: Oh brother! Just go, rey!

Exit Laxmana.

Act II – Scene V

Enter Ravana; dressed in, a Raymond Suit and looking great in his Mitsubishi Lancer.

Ravana: Eyyy, aati kya khandala? Want to ride with me in this beauty?

Sita: Oh it is wonderful, but I cannot. I am waiting for my new mobile phone from the woods.

Ravana: Why do you bother? I have plenty more of that with me… come with me na…

Sita: Nice try, but I won't come.

Ravana: How frustrating! Nobody has ever refused an offer from me! All right, don't regret it later.

Exit Ravana

Enter Ravana disguised as an ascetic, wearing a dhoti and carrying a kamandalam – typical sadhu style. In his right hand holds an ordinary Nokia cell phone.

Ravana: Oh dear, oh dear! What will I do..? I got this phone from my dad as a birthday present, and I don't know how to operate it…

Sita: Oh respected sadhu, can I be of help to you?

Ravana: Yeah, do you know how to…

Sita: Won't you come in and sit on this chair while I check out what model it is…

Ravana tries to cross Laxmana's line of fire, but twists his ankle and falls down.

Ravana: I have hurt my ankle and am not able to come over there. Can you come here please?

Sita: Oh all right…

Sita crosses line.

Sita: Oh what a nice phone! What model is it? How does it still have such a good signal?

Ravana changes back to his Raymond form and looked dazzling. He grabs Sita's hand

Ravana: Here, get into the car.

Sita: Let go of me, you idiot. Don't you know that my husband Rama is the Hulk in disguise? If you try to hurt me, he will come and kill you with his Star Wars Laser…

Ravana (laughs): You better see your Star Wars again, young lady. Colombo, here we come!

Ravana, Sita and the car - Exit Stage

END OF ACT II
X X X

Ramayana 2020 - A Play in 4 Acts

(Karthik Narayan)

Act 1 – Scene 1

Curtains up!

Two young men with bows and arrows walk across the stage with a young woman following them.

In come two Vanaras (monkeys), hair well combed, wearing Rayban sunglasses sliding down their face so their eyes pop up from behind. They are on their feet, wearing Raymond suits.

The monkey on the left pops a bubblegum into his mouth, as the other pops a question,

Vanara 1: Say, dude, who are these folks?

Vanara 2: They are Rama, his brother Laxmana and Rama’s wife, Sita

Vanara 1: Who is this Rama guy?

Vanara 2: Long ago, in a Kingdom called Ayodhya, there lived a King called Dasharatha along with his three wives.

Vanara 1: And why was he called Dasharatha?

Vanara 2: King Dasharata got his name because he could drive 10 Ferraris at the same time!

Vanara 1: Oh, and what happened to him?

Vanara 2: Nothing. That is, the king didn’t have any children, so he sought divine help for begetting children. With the help of a Magic Potion, he got four children, named Rama, Laxmana, Bharata and Shatarughna.

Vanara 1: Wow, four in one shot. Talk about wholesale! Where did they school?

Vanara 2: At Cybernet School of Browsing. In due time, the kids had access to the Internet at home, and also learnt how to wield the Cell Phone and write messages.

Vanara 1: That was smart.

Vanara 2: They were smart, you know. Even though they were kids, Rama and Laxmana very cleverly used the Nokia Ringtones to scare away the Demons that ruled the thick and dense forests! The sages had brought Rama and Laxmana to protect themselves from the Demons.

Vanara 1: What happened after that?

Vanara 2: They attended the swayamvara of Sita, daughter of King Janaka of Mithila.

The condition was: the beautiful hand of Princess Sita will be given to the man who can compose and send an SMS in the fastest time!

Vanara 1: Really?

Vanara 2: Yes. Thanks to his intense training, Rama naturally won the Fastest Fingers First contest and thus also the Princess!

And they returned victoriously home, along with free goodies such as lifetime prepaid SIM cards and MP3 and camera mobile phones each.

Soon after, the other three brothers also got married to beautiful princesses.

Vanara 1: Really? If they were all princes and princesses, what are these three doing wandering in the forest, and dressed like this?
Vanara 2: Ah, there lies a tale (waves his tail). Rama, being the eldest son was due to receive the first laptop of the family. However, Bharata’s mother Kaikeyi’s jealous maid hypnotized her by showing her Sunny TV news and made her ask Rama to go to the forest for 14 years.

Vanara 1: But why?

Vanara 2: So that her son Bharata would get the first laptop. And so Rama left for the forest, and Laxmana and Sita followed him. And this is where you see them.

Act 1 – Scene II

Vanara 1: What did Bharata do?

Vanara 2: Look for yourself – there he is (points to a clearing in the forest)

Enter Bharata.

Bharata: (Embracing Rama) Oh dear brother, all this has occurred on account of my mother Kaikeyi’s maid.

Rama: Don’t fret, Bharata.

Bharata: I love you so much. Please take the laptop and keep it.

Rama: No, no, my dear brother. You keep it and make the most of it. Surf the net during the night hours and download lots of movies.

Bharata: I cannot use that laptop. Instead, to remember you, I shall take your Rado watch and keep it near the laptop.

Rama reluctantly gives his watch to Bharata. And before Bharata leaves back for the city, they both sing the Official Family Song – Yaadon ki Baarat.

Exit Bharata with laptop. Vanaras flee for shelter – the singing felt like the sky was falling on their heads!

END OF ACT I
X X X

Yeah write; Play, right?

(Karthik Narayan)

Hey there, KN was in a playful mood so tried my hand at writing this.

For the next few posts, I would be posting my first ever play in a sequence.

Don't miss it!

Also one request: Please do not be passive readers - I appreciate feedback.

Thanks,

KN

Play time!

The leaked tape of the Indian Premier Leak

(Karthik Narayan)

Breaking news: guess what our lucky reporter ran into when he accidentally stepped into cow dung – he managed to overhear and tape an interesting conversation. Here are some excerpts from the leaked tape. Now that’s what we call holy shit!

Modi: Malcolm, fast!

Malcolm Speed: It’s actually Speed.

Modi: Oh? Nice movie. Saw it three times.

Malcolm Speed: No, Speed, really.

Modi: Eh? Anyway, I understand that you like instant action, but don’t be so impatient, my friend (Pauses to cough) I told Pawar about this concept and he is thrilled that we are all going to be in the money, err. I mean we will all have some good cricket action.

Malcolm: What difference does it make, anyway? So, what’s your idea?

Modi: Look, its summer in India. What makes the biggest news in the Indian summers?

Malcolm: Question Paper Leak?

Modi: Exactly! After the QPL, it shall be….

Malcolm: The ICL?

Modi: You mean, the Indian Chemical Leak?

No, not Bhopal! Anyway you are on the right track. I give you - the name Indian Physical Leak!

Malcolm: Hmmm. doesn’t sound all that great to me. I mean, we need a flashy title to it, even if it’s some dumb thing.

Modi: Ok? Then… the Indian Public Leak? Indian Procrastinated Leak? Indian Powerful Leak (or Pawar-full Leak). Practice Leak? Premium Leak? Prepaid Leak? Premier Leak? (Catches up with breath. He is panting to no end now)

Malcolm: Ah, the last one is a lot better! It’s got a nice feel to it. It’s between Premium Leak and Premier Leak – I guess we should go with the latter; the former looks pricey. So how does this work?

Modi: Do you know what is the biggest business; which is universal across the globe; that every man and woman wants, comes at a price but is worth it?

Malcolm: Umm, no can’t even guess. What is such a great thing in this world?

Modi: Almost everybody pays for it; this is done even in the jungles/ walls and movie posters. The poor worms, snails repel this so much they quit their jobs. Mosquitoes stopped tearing people’s blood cells and instead tore at their own! It gives a shiver up a snake’s spine. Lizards couldn’t stand it that they don’t leave even their tails behind anymore! All living beings go berserk because of this act by humans. What is it?

Malcolm: Hey let me have three guesses please?

Modi: All right!

Malcolm: A – watching cricket and golf in adjacent TV sets and trying to decide which is more boring. B – Listening to Sirbhajan and Resanth swearing at each other, at everyone in sight and not in sight. C – Trying to figure out who is a better actor, the cricketers or the movie stars.

Modi: No, no and no! Going for a leak, that’s what! Using the restroom. Why is it called the rest room anyway? I do not recall taking rest in that smelly place..

Anyway, it will be the world’s greatest show on earth! Movie stars and cricketers in the same ground, leaking! Imagine the crowd size, the fun and the gala time we will have…

But first, we should have a urine test and an auction! Believe me, this will be the greatest waste on earth!

(To be concluded)

Dear mom and dad,

My dear mom and dad,

Thank you for the love you inspired in me
You are the creators, articulate hearts behind me,
Every day of my life for the rest of my life, I love you

You are the warmth in my pulse, mentor of my identity
When you grasp my hands, they feel your blood and life
what I seek I find, even under a blind moonless night
You are my virtue, my tranquil guiding light

You send unlimited aspirations with your positive thoughts
Consecrate my days, strengthen me and free my pain
Contagious, sometimes even outrageous,
With your humor, charm, generations of intelligence

You share your knowledge, believing and breathing life in me
Heart so full, your words so beautiful and positive, so profoundly free
You molded me for twenty five years, now I am a man
Teaching me to thrive intently, son follow a chosen plan

You are my strength, the eye to my fiercest storms
whatever fury comes our way, you are my best friends,
and to the end, my faithful direction......


- Karthik Narayan

Review of the QFI Open Quiz 2008 – Thode badmash, thode nadaan, and some shaitaani too…

(Karthik Narayan)

Quizzers of a feather flock together. And flock they did – at the 4th edition of the QFI Open quiz. There were teams from Bangalore, Hyderabad and Mumbai – which is the case these days with Chennai becoming more of a quizzing capital, if not a cultural one. This augurs well for Chennai quizzing, and a hearty thanks for the support by all those who turned up, withstanding the hot and humid weather.

The air-conditioned auditorium made us all comfy. In fact most of us stayed back till the end to beat the heat, no offence meant to the quality of the quiz.

The Man:
The Man of the Moment was none other than Vinod Ganesh, the standard Quizmaster for the event. His co-quizmasters were Krishnamurthi and Vikram Rajan, who couldn’t turn up for the quiz (since they were not in the country, we were told).

The Event:

The prelims carried a lot of weight-age to current affairs, which is typical of the QFI Open. It’s always a quality quiz if the Prelims hinges on current affairs and the finals on varied topics of then and now.

The whole quiz had a medley of really good music (A mix of favorite songs from all genres); a bit of a jugglery with the Mac Book and intriguing questions (the anticlockwise round in particular was good). The Clockwise round was a heady mixture of known questions like Guinness Book of World Records, Jana Gana mana. Goes to show the same information can be recycled as different questions. Whether to laugh or cry over that, I do not know. But sometimes it’s good to look beyond the obvious and frame questions on other topics as well.

Some questions hinged on Malayalam culture (not sure if Vinod has a mallu background)

The Prize:

Now, I am no news reporter, but for the record, JK, Sumo and Rajiv Rai won the quiz; they also won the Book quiz which took place earlier in the morning (hosted by Samanth Subramanian).

The Questions:

I know lots of guys are now scanning this writeup to see where the questions from the quizzes are. I hate to disappoint people, so here are a few that I can remember.

Theme song for the Chennai Super Kings (IPL team) – lyrics and music by: Vairamuthu and GV Prakash respectively.

Flag – of Tibet.

Had a question on who has won the most number of Film fare awards in India – AR Rehman at No.1 with 21.

Country with the world’s highest per capita criminal cases rate – Vatican City, much to the amusement of many a participant.

Google page on earth hour – we were asked to identify the theme for the black page. (Who turned the lights off on that one, we are not sure, but our team put it down as earth day!)

Description of an old horse carriage and what modern day word did it give rise to – cab (which again we miffed up thanks to my teamies striking off what I penned down)

A classic question on animal skins being used as currency and what word came out of this – Buck.

Song in the movie Bhootnath – sung by Juhi Chawla. Asked to identify the singer.

Who composed the music for the song Thode badmash from Saawariya – a head turner again, its Sanjay Leela Bhansali.

Sorry guys! Don’t remember much of the rest. Too many and too lengthy to even note down.

Take-a-way’s from the quiz:

Practice makes perfect. There were occasions where the guy handling the MacBook revealed the answers in a hurry, which Vinod had to “scrap”. It always pays to rehearse the whole thing, not sure if there was time for all that, but that does help rule out such problems.

One felt that 5 hours was too long for a quiz (to think I called Jodha-Akbar a loooong movie).

Nearly 100 questions in the final seemed to be on the higher side, since the quiz dragged itself to an end. Maybe the number of questions could have been shortened. Especially when you have a lot of lengthy questions and audios and videos to boot.

The new round of choosing your question was nice; but there again, people had to manually keep track of questions already asked.

Now, I am not pointing fingers or finding faults, but just trying to be a Constructive Critic as an integral part of the Quizzing society. Some areas need to be tightened in future editions.

On the personal front:

Me and my team mate Ananth (my teammate) have this concept of “15 questions of fame” right before each quiz that we attend. Will we cross the dreaded barrier (score) of 15 or more? That was a record that didn’t get broken until this quiz. We scored 18/40 (and as usual wrote and cancelled a couple of questions). Ifs and buts are part and parcel of life, let alone quizzing. So we are improving with each time.

Later in the finals, me and Ananth also opened our account with our first ever Audience prizes. Vinod Ganesh was kind enough to introduce me to the elite crowd as “Mr.Karthik Narayan” who has started a new quizzing group (don’t remember the actual words he used). But it felt nice for my hard work to be noticed in a forum. A bit of a fairytale moment, actually...

Summary:

Overall, Vinod Ganesh did a wonderful job keeping his temper under control and managing the audience and the on-stage participants well. He threw in some witty one- liners as well. The audience was a bit unruly at times, giving away free lunches to the participants by shouting out answers. And it didn’t help the Quizmaster’s cause at all. It was a little dash of salt, sugar, sour and spice. As that famous song from Saawariya goes, “Thode badmash, thode nadaan; haan magar yeh such hai, hamare jaan ho quizzing” just about sums up the Quiz.

A wholesome entertainer for an evening of knowledge interspersed with laughter. Well done, QFI! Hope to see more such events in the future (sans the faux pas).

And for those who did not qualify for the Finals, keep quizzing, never give up and try to come for our QFI & IQL sessions…