(Karthik Narayan)
Act I: At the restroom (read nets) before an IPL (Indian Premier Leak) cricket match.
A bearded saint was doing his business when a tall lanky handsome guy walks in. The introductions happen – the saint is Sirbhajan Singh (recently got Knighted by the Board for Corruption Creators in India) and the lanky guy is Resanth (he reinvented himself after coming to the Indian team!).
Resanth: Oh paaji. I have a small problemo!
Sirbhajan: Tell me; let me see how I can fix it for ya.
Resanth: it's like this – I have been offered a chance to act in a Bollywood-Chollywood types movie with four hot heroines. But there is only one snag.
Sirbhajan: Oh that is good. Really good. I could have sworn had I tried I would have got that role! Oh anyway, what's the big deal?
Resanth: No, the problem is – I need to act for a couple of scenes! Now, that is so hard, even our best of actors struggle to get through two scenes in a movie.
Sirbhajan: Aww, that's tough man. Did you ask Sach-in? He has great experience acting in a lot of commercials. Plus in the last few months, he has spent more time in ads than in cricket itself.
Resanth: Yes but he acts more or less Pogo channel types. My director has asked me to act in a scene where I have to cry!!
Sirbhajan: Hmmmmmmmm – you know what? He is a great actor. In fact, he is acting like he is injured so he can pocket easy money for this series. He is a genius, I say!
Resanth: Ok, I will enquire with him on how to do this.
Sirbhajan: Besides, don't forget – he is my Godfather. Whenever I do something stupid, he backs me up. Like the last time I did some monkey business, remember?
Resanth: Oh yeah, I remember that one. We had a good laugh at the expense of the Aussies. The first time in the mystery of cricket did the Awful Aussies crumble before our mighty money power!
Curtains – with Resanth's resounding laughter echoing and Sirbhajan trying to think with his miniscule brain cells.
X X X
Act II:
Sirbhajan is seen discussing with Sachin just before the match. Sirbhajan is unable to overcome his disability to think, so he chooses to take the help of Sachin. He has called for an emergency meeting of all senior players. The agenda is how to help Resanth become Rekanth, like one of the Superstar actors in India.
Sachin: Bhajji Bhai – be a true MumBHAI Indian. Use your brain, Err, do what you do best – shout nasty at him, make him cry like a crybaby.
Sirbhajan: No Sachin, I really got scared stiff the last time he showed that face at the Aussies! I won't dare do that to him. What if – he retaliates? No, I cannot even imagine that! No, I can’t handle this!
Sachin: I got it! This will push your TRP ratings also high – will make you feel like a man! Hayden didn't call you weed for nothing – you are the weed for this Indian team, remember that!
Sirbhajan: Don’t flatter me, hehe
Sachin: Let's have a slap bet. You slap him, if he cries you win; I will make you captain for the rest of the series. Otherwise I win, I will try playing in the future games. Again, it’s my handbook, mind you.
Sirbhajan: Anything you want! I feel so handicapped now. Just get me out of this mess. I never should have agreed to help that Resanth guy…
Sachin (with a grin): The hand in hand relationship finally would collapse in front of all those mass audiences. I love it!
X X X
The Final Act (Alternatively – the deed by the weed)
Sirbhajan hatches a plot to get Resanth kick-start his acting career, and as usual, finds the best solutions – to take matters into his own hands.
Right after the match gets over, Sirbhajan hands over the match to his opposition. Then goes over to Resanth to execute his handiwork.
As Resanth extends his hand for a man-to-man shake, Sirbhajan places his hand on Resanth's cheek.
Resanth goes ‘Oow’, and starts his acting career with tears of joy! (Thus was written, the parvata of Rekanth the great actor who would appear in movies like – The Handshake Redemption, Some like it Hard, Bravehand, Rekantha Jones and the last slapped, Slapotouille, Slap Hard (with three sequels), S for Slap, Slap Story 1 and 2, Slap wars, 12 Angry Slaps, Raiders of the Lost Slap, Lord of the Slaps, The Shining Hand and many others).
As curtains are brought down by the crew, we see the lone sulking figure of Sachin in the corner. The audience weeps for his sad state of affairs…
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Friday, April 25, 2008
Fundraiser for the Blind and HIV Positive
Hi guys,
Hope you are all doing well.
I am doing a fundraiser for the HIV positive affected and visually challenged - through the following modes:
one is a quiz, a theme based quiz, details of which will reach you shortly. (Thanks to everyone who volunteered, others are welcome to pitch in with ideas)...
The other is the release of my brand new book - Accounting for Non-Accountants. Priced at $2, you can download it as an ebook. http://www.lulu.com/content/1812867
All proceeds from the book go to the blind relief fund and towards my idea of the quiz for AIDS and blind.
Kindly support this project I have taken up with your inputs and of course buy the book! Also, if you think it is good enough, do pass on the message!
Thanks,
Karthik Narayan
Hope you are all doing well.
I am doing a fundraiser for the HIV positive affected and visually challenged - through the following modes:
one is a quiz, a theme based quiz, details of which will reach you shortly. (Thanks to everyone who volunteered, others are welcome to pitch in with ideas)...
The other is the release of my brand new book - Accounting for Non-Accountants. Priced at $2, you can download it as an ebook. http://www.lulu.com/content/1812867
All proceeds from the book go to the blind relief fund and towards my idea of the quiz for AIDS and blind.
Kindly support this project I have taken up with your inputs and of course buy the book! Also, if you think it is good enough, do pass on the message!
Thanks,
Karthik Narayan
Thursday, April 24, 2008
TEN GREATEST FOOLS OF ALL TIME
(Karthik Narayan)
A respondent to my quizzes once famously asked me, “Why do you think Karu is so stupid?”. The question sparked off a tremor in my thought process – why did I think so? I became reminiscent of a story of Birbal and Akbar that I had read in those famous Amar Chitra Kathas – the ten greatest fools of all, and I wondered; why not list down the greatest fools I have come across. So here goes:
10. At number ten it is all movie maniacs who think movie stars are God given gifts (I wish I could write one more G here!) – to take SRK’s/ Rajini’s blessings, one would think they would attain the Lotus feet of the Lord. Better still, the Lord be Rajini in an avatar, who knows!
9. The Indian Sports Ministry – for choosing youngsters such as Uma Bharti, Sunil Dutt to represent the country’s sports. The latest in the bandwagon being Mr.Gill who is a fish without frills to grill and toast the money into his pocket and bring corruption to the desk top.
8. Arjun Singh – for his grand decisions of making the world a bitter place. For ideas that even Suppandi of Tinkle fame cant even think about, and for his brainwaves that are shorter than the average teenager’s sms-es.
7. Our beloved, most trusted idiot of all time – Dr.Manmohan Singh, who after all his great educational pursuits, finally decided to step into the shoes of stupidity for good. For his attempts to be a silent strong man in the realm of hostility in politics, corruption and wars, not to mention trying to tolerate Bushisms.
6. The average cricket fan – who represents the world of cricket, who pays a zillion rupees to travel across the world, to let go of his family and job to sit and watch a game. A game of dirty money and politics (both of which go hand in hand). And the guy who supports money laundering ideas such as the IPL – to give impetus to a series of matches that serve no purpose other than selfish ulterior motivation; the only saving grace that brought this guy to No.6 was No.3!
5. George Bush features in the closest shave of his life – it was between him and the guy at No.3 vying for that top spot, but sadly, he lost. He did win all the fart-ass championships till date, mind you. When it comes to showing off his dumbness, he is second only to Mr.No.4.
4. The famous subject of songs like “Comfortably Dumb” and “I’ve become so dumb, I cant feel you there”; He is the legend who gave us the English phrase, “Dumbness thy come” – for his gross negligence at trying to educate himself. The greatest gimmick puller of our times, the dhoti clad, perfect advert for a ray-ban competitor – the one and only Mr.Karu! for what, you ask? – for trying to prove Ram was not a qualified engineer, to try and make tamil (and not tamizh) compulsory in colleges. When it comes to demolishing and tarnishing good work by others, there is none in comparison. And don’t forget his famous midnight joke of undressing out of his lungi when he was arrested.
3. All those people who dump away the contents of their wallets, Swiss bank accounts and other fortunes like golden, platinum, silver chairs, helmets, wallets, armor etc into the temple hundis; what they derive out of the whole act I do not know, but I know this: its gross stupidity to think God craves it! Try spending it on worthy causes such as feeding the poor, build more hospitals… ok never mind. Who am I kidding?
2 & 1 – as we draw close this greatest fools of all time – Mohammed Ali stand aside – the GOATS are you and me. You to be still reading this; and me to have written this and try to knock sense into the other eight people!
A respondent to my quizzes once famously asked me, “Why do you think Karu is so stupid?”. The question sparked off a tremor in my thought process – why did I think so? I became reminiscent of a story of Birbal and Akbar that I had read in those famous Amar Chitra Kathas – the ten greatest fools of all, and I wondered; why not list down the greatest fools I have come across. So here goes:
10. At number ten it is all movie maniacs who think movie stars are God given gifts (I wish I could write one more G here!) – to take SRK’s/ Rajini’s blessings, one would think they would attain the Lotus feet of the Lord. Better still, the Lord be Rajini in an avatar, who knows!
9. The Indian Sports Ministry – for choosing youngsters such as Uma Bharti, Sunil Dutt to represent the country’s sports. The latest in the bandwagon being Mr.Gill who is a fish without frills to grill and toast the money into his pocket and bring corruption to the desk top.
8. Arjun Singh – for his grand decisions of making the world a bitter place. For ideas that even Suppandi of Tinkle fame cant even think about, and for his brainwaves that are shorter than the average teenager’s sms-es.
7. Our beloved, most trusted idiot of all time – Dr.Manmohan Singh, who after all his great educational pursuits, finally decided to step into the shoes of stupidity for good. For his attempts to be a silent strong man in the realm of hostility in politics, corruption and wars, not to mention trying to tolerate Bushisms.
6. The average cricket fan – who represents the world of cricket, who pays a zillion rupees to travel across the world, to let go of his family and job to sit and watch a game. A game of dirty money and politics (both of which go hand in hand). And the guy who supports money laundering ideas such as the IPL – to give impetus to a series of matches that serve no purpose other than selfish ulterior motivation; the only saving grace that brought this guy to No.6 was No.3!
5. George Bush features in the closest shave of his life – it was between him and the guy at No.3 vying for that top spot, but sadly, he lost. He did win all the fart-ass championships till date, mind you. When it comes to showing off his dumbness, he is second only to Mr.No.4.
4. The famous subject of songs like “Comfortably Dumb” and “I’ve become so dumb, I cant feel you there”; He is the legend who gave us the English phrase, “Dumbness thy come” – for his gross negligence at trying to educate himself. The greatest gimmick puller of our times, the dhoti clad, perfect advert for a ray-ban competitor – the one and only Mr.Karu! for what, you ask? – for trying to prove Ram was not a qualified engineer, to try and make tamil (and not tamizh) compulsory in colleges. When it comes to demolishing and tarnishing good work by others, there is none in comparison. And don’t forget his famous midnight joke of undressing out of his lungi when he was arrested.
3. All those people who dump away the contents of their wallets, Swiss bank accounts and other fortunes like golden, platinum, silver chairs, helmets, wallets, armor etc into the temple hundis; what they derive out of the whole act I do not know, but I know this: its gross stupidity to think God craves it! Try spending it on worthy causes such as feeding the poor, build more hospitals… ok never mind. Who am I kidding?
2 & 1 – as we draw close this greatest fools of all time – Mohammed Ali stand aside – the GOATS are you and me. You to be still reading this; and me to have written this and try to knock sense into the other eight people!
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Krishna nee begane...
(Karthik Narayan)
Is'nt he lovely? the delicate darling of many a malayali household. I really dont know why we are so drawn towards this naughty nimble rascal, but behold him with your eyes and adore him with your heart...
vishu aasamsagal to everyone..
Is'nt he lovely? the delicate darling of many a malayali household. I really dont know why we are so drawn towards this naughty nimble rascal, but behold him with your eyes and adore him with your heart...
vishu aasamsagal to everyone..
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